From a Perfect Church to a Healthy Church

The following is the testimony of Heidi Hughes as given to the Canby Christian Women's Gathering on October 2, 2026.

Growing up

I was raised in a Seventh-day Adventist home with two loving parents and two sisters. My parents prayed for us every day. Praying that they would raise us to love the Lord and love one another. From my earliest memories, faith was simply part of our family life. My parents made many sacrifices, and I can see how intentional they were in giving us not only what we needed, but also a foundation of faith that has stayed with me my whole life. That foundation was strengthened by my Christian education. I attended Christian schools throughout my childhood, and for high school I went to a Christian boarding school.

Adult life

I married my husband, Kevin, when I was 20. We were young, in love, and convinced that love and coconuts were all we needed. As we soon learned, life had other ideas!

In 1991, we welcomed our daughter, Felicia. Shortly after she turned one, our simple little life changed when Kevin's dad passed away unexpectedly. His death was devastating to our family. In the midst of her grief, Kevin's mom told him she would sell the family ranch unless he moved to Boise to finish his education.

Not only were we leaving the life we knew, we were leaving our church family, which Kevin and I both thought of as the "Perfect Church." I didn't understand why God was allowing our plans to change so drastically.

In Boise, we found out I was pregnant with our second child, Geoffrey, who was born in 1993. It was scary to look for jobs, daycare, and a church where we could worship and form friendships. I remember thinking that if we could just find a church like the one we left, everything would feel right again.

After a couple of months, the Christian boarding school that Kevin and I had attended, asked him to fill in as a math and computer science teacher. He loved this job and was disappointed when the original teacher arrived and his position ended. Kevin found another job, but soon the principal called again. The other teacher had not worked out, and they asked Kevin to return. Of course, he said yes.

Looking back, I see that as a real answer to prayer. The school provided faculty housing and health insurance, which was exactly what we needed with a baby on the way. We had gone from an apartment, no jobs, no insurance - to a home, a job Kevin loved, and the security we needed. It was one of the first times I learned that even when I can't see how things will work out, God already has an answer.

I would see that pattern again and again. I made plans, and God changed them. At the time it felt like losing control, but looking back, each change moved us to the place we needed to be.

Hard Seasons

In 1995, Kevin accepted another job and we bought our first home. It was exciting, but it brought challenges. Kevin traveled often, sometimes for two to four weeks at a time. With two young children, a full-time job, and long stretches on my own, life became very difficult.

During that time, Kevin and I went through a hard season in our marriage and came close to divorce. I never imagined that word would be part of our story. But God was not finished with us. Through hard conversations, changes, and a willingness from both of us to work on our marriage, we rebuilt it. We came through stronger, with a deeper understanding of what it means to choose each other.

In 1998, my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer at the age of 53. He was a wonderful man, and the thought of losing him was hard to comprehend. Even in his pain, knowing he would soon be leaving his family, he remained remarkably positive and centered on Christ.

Before he passed away, he met with each of his girls individually and gave us something meaningful to him. I was honored to receive his Bible. It was the only Bible I ever remember him using. It held many memories for him, including some of my first penmanship, in blue ink, which he cherished.

Losing my dad was one of the hardest things I have been through. But in those days, God began to show me His love in a way I had not fully understood before. My dad knew my imperfections and my mistakes. He had seen me at my best and at my worst, and he loved me anyway.

Searching for a church home

In 1999, Kevin accepted a management position in the IT department of a law firm in Denver. Once again we were off on an adventure, to a place where we knew no one and had no family nearby. We had to begin again: find a church home, settle the kids in school, and make friends. We started attending a large Seventh-day Adventist church where our kids were involved in the children's activities, but there was a lot of church politics and unrest, and something felt missing.

During this time our children grew from elementary to middle school, and we made the decision to send them to the same kind of Christian boarding school that Kevin and I attended but in the state of Washington. After the kids left for school, we decided to join a nondenominational church in our community. From the beginning we felt at home, and we stayed there until we moved to Oregon.

When we decided to move to Oregon, we thought we would find another Seventh-day Adventist church, since there were so many options in the Portland area. But in our search, something still felt missing. We ended up at a church in Canby where we knew a couple of people. We hoped it would become our church home. After a while, we realized that something was still not right. Once again we were searching for a place where we could feel connected, grow in our faith, study straight from the Bible, and truly know what we believe. I couldn't name it yet, and I didn't realize how important that search would become in the years ahead.

Geoffrey

Our son Geoffrey grew into a strong, full-of-life young man who loved fitness and serving in the military. He served a deployment to Afghanistan, and in 2018 he married his high school sweetheart, Anisha. They settled in the Spokane area, where Geoffrey worked as a fitness trainer and Anisha was finishing her Master's degree. We were looking forward to being closer to them, and to grandchildren someday. I was happy in my job as a school secretary, our marriage was strong, and it felt like life was falling into place.

On April 15, 2019, our lives were shattered. A late-night phone call woke us to tell us that our son had died. I remember falling to the floor, sobbing, and asking, "Why? Why?"

We soon learned that our beautiful, full-of-life, 6'5" son had died by suicide. I couldn't understand it. Geoffrey had so much going for him: a wife he loved, a job he loved, a future ahead of him, and so many people who loved him. Why would God allow this? Why didn't we see it? Why couldn't we help him? Why didn't he tell us? Why wasn't our love enough to keep him here?

There were so many questions, and no easy answers. But even in those first moments, I looked at Kevin and said, "We are not going to let this break us." I didn't know how we would survive the pain, but I knew he needed me and I needed him. We would walk through it together. I also knew we couldn't walk this journey without God.

In those first days, weeks, and months, I didn't have a neat explanation that made everything make sense. I just had God and my family. Even though I didn't understand, I knew I would have to truly lean on Him.

My faith didn't make the pain disappear. I still cried. I still asked why? There were days the grief felt unbearable. But somewhere in the middle of all those questions, I began to realize that God was not asking me to understand everything. He was asking me to trust Him.

Sometimes faith isn't having all the answers. Sometimes faith is simply holding on to God when you have no answers at all.

Finding a Healthy Church, Not a Perfect One

Grief changed what I wanted from a church. I no longer needed a perfect place. I needed one where I could lean on God's Word and on God's people.

In 2020, we decided it was time to search for a new church. We wanted a place where we could feel connected, grow in our faith, truly study God's Word, and know what we believe, so we could become disciples for Him. We knew what we were looking for. We just needed to find it.

Then COVID shut the world down. Churches closed, in-person gatherings stopped, and our search was put on hold. In a strange way, that season gave us time to slow down and think about what we were really looking for, not just in a church, but in a true relationship with God and a deeper understanding of His Word.

One evening, after searching online and reading about other churches, Kevin looked at me and said, "I give up."

I said, "Why don't we check out the church one block from where I work? I have coworkers who attend there, and I know the Antisdels."

Much to my surprise, he said, "I’ll do it for you."

Stepping into a new church can be hard. Kevin is an extrovert, but I am shy, especially when I don't know anyone. So this was going to be interesting. But we were shocked in the best possible way. People came up to us and genuinely were interested in welcoming us and The sermon was straight from the Bible. This was exactly what we had been looking for.

At the end of the service that day, Kevin looked at me and said, "We need to come back."

And we did!

Eventually we decided to become members. Meeting with the pastors first was new to us, and I wondered, Would we be accepted? Would they like us? But Pastor Aaron and Pastor Rob put us at ease right away. It felt less like an interview and more like a conversation about faith, our journey, and what we were looking for. At one point, the talk turned to what a "healthy church" looks like. Kevin and I looked at each other and said, "We have been looking for a healthy church, this whole time, and we didn’t even know it.

All those years, I had been asking, Where is the perfect church? But there is no perfect church, because churches are made of imperfect people like me. What I needed was a healthy one. For me, that comes down to three things. God's Word is taught straight from the Bible, People genuinely welcome you, even a shy person who doesn't know anyone, and you are encouraged to keep growing in his word.

Closing

My faith journey has not been a straight line. There have been times I felt very close to God, and times I struggled, questioned, or tried to figure things out on my own. Yet through every season, God has been faithful. When I look back now, I can see His hand in so many parts of my life, even in moments when I didn't realize He was there.

I went looking for a perfect church and found a healthy one. Now my prayer is to share what I have found with others. If you've been searching like I was, you don't have to look for perfection. Come and see what healthy looks like.